Unsure
by Sylarfan
Summary: After the battle at Hogwarts, Ron and Hermione are both vulnerable as they start to move forward in their new, more adult relationship. Hermione is not so sure she's ready for that next step. Sweet story I hope rated M just incase.


Unsure

The Weasley family held the funeral for Fred three days after the battle at Hogwarts. It was a modest and intimate service with mostly family and a few friends. Harry and Hermione where there, of course, as well as Luna, Neville and Kingsley. The service was small because the numbers lost were so great. Many who would have attended were holding services of their own.

In the days after the service many came to visit and pay their respects, as did the Weasleys with others they knew. Hargid visited, bringing with him much food and drink. Even McGonagall came by to give her condolences. It was a sad time for everyone, but through the anguish there were smiles, warmth and a great sense of peace now that Voldermort had been defeated.

Hermione and Harry had been staying with the Weasleys at Molly's insistence and it seemed to be of great comfort to her. Although Hermione felt like she was nothing but an intrusion at every turn. She was always in the background of a family discussion or walking in on a tender moment. After all, she did have her own home, but there was no family to greet her. Many times she had contemplated leaving, but not for good, of course.

Then there was Ron. He wasn't himself. He wasn't sleeping much or eating well, which were two things for which he usually never passed up an opportunity. He seemed so lost.

Hermione found herself once again stumbling in on a private moment between Harry and Ginny, but before turning to leave the sitting room unnoticed, Harry said, "Hermione. I feel like I haven't spoken to you in days."

"I know. Things have been a bit busy." She walked back smiling in relief.

He was at one end of the sofa with Ginny's head in his lap, stroking her silky red hair as she slept. "First real sleep she's had in days." He said.

Hermione sat down in a big over stuffed arm chair next to Harry's end of the sofa.

"Harry, I've been thinking I should go home, just for a bit. I need to decide how to proceed with getting my parents back home and restoring their memories, if I even can." She said the last part with fleeting doubt.

"No." Harry said, straining not to raise his voice too loud so as not to wake Ginny. "Hermione, I'm almost certain Ron will crumble if you leave."

Hermione seemed unsure about his statement. "I don't know, Harry. Ron's been so…so distant."

"Of course he has." Harry said matter-of-factly. "He's been through a lot, as we all have. But, I'm telling you if you leave…." He trailed off giving her a pleading look.

"I have to go back sometime soon." She was trying to reason.

"Maybe you could ask him to go with you." Harry suggested.

"I can't ask him to leave his family so he can run an errand with me."

"Why not?" He asked her. "We all have to live our normal lives and you are running more then just an 'errand'. Besides, I think it would be good for him to get away for a few days. He really hasn't had a break from all the gloom." Hermione listened carefully to Harry, her eyes staring at her lap. He continued, "And, it will give you two a chance to…you know, spend some quality time together."

Her eyes zipped over to Harry in surprise. "Harry!" Her face flushing from embarrassment.

Harry grinned and chuckled. "I wasn't suggesting you two go shag for days on end, but if I had to guess, I'd say that would help cheer him up."

Hermione stood up with her cheeks blazing pink and left with a huff. "Hermione, I was only joking." He called to her, but she kept going.

She walked out into the backyard and found Ron, alone, on his knees pulling weeds out of the garden. She sat down next to him. "Ron?"

He looked over at her with his face smudged with dirt. It reminded her of the very first day she had meet him. He gave her a half grin. "Hi, Hermione."

"Ron," She said watching him dig through the garden, "why aren't you using magic for this? It would save you a lot more time and you won't have to soil your hands." She pulled out her wand.

"Don't!" He grasped her wrist to stop her. "This is keeping me busy, keeping me from thinking so much."

There was a rustling in the vegetation. Ron thrust his arm deep into the foliage which was then followed by horrible high pitched screaming. When he brought his arm back out there was a gnome clenched in his fist. "Found you, you little wanker. Go bugger off!" And he stood and tossed the gnome over the fence into the grasses beyond the burrow. "That was the last one I think. Pesky things, they are." He said, squinting from the sunshine and wiping his hands on his sweatshirt.

"You know, there are muggle gardening gloves you can wear for that. I'm almost positive your dad has some in his collection." Hermione suggested.

Ron looked down at his hands. "You don't find it more manly this way?"

"I came to invite you to have lunch with me in the kitchen." She asked, ignoring his half-hearted attempt at a joke.

"I'm not hungry. But thanks anyway." He leaned down and gave her a soft peck on the lips. "I need a wash." He said and he walked into the house.

* * *

><p>Hermione had decided that Ron was going to eat lunch even if she had to put a body binding curse on him and force food down his throat. She waited for him at the bottom of the stairs and at last, he started making his way down the steps toward her, buttoning his shirt along the way.<p>

"Hi." He said, stopping at the last step.

"I've made you soup and a sandwich." He opened his mouth to protest, but she held her hand up with an authoritative air. "Please, just come into the kitchen and have something to eat."

Ron looked at her half annoyed and half amused. "Alright then." She took his hand and led him to the table. The only other person in the kitchen was Molly who was busy tidying things up. They sat down and Ron took a bite of his sandwich. After he swallowed he took two more big bites before greedily spooning soup into his mouth. Hermione smiled. She may have found his eating habits a bit barbaric at times but it felt good to see him enjoying a meal again.

Molly finished with her chores and before she left the kitchen she hugged Ron and gave him a peck on his cheek. "I'm so glad to see you eating again." Then she put an arm around Hermione's shoulder and gave her a squeeze. "And thank you for being here, dear." She kissed the top of Hermione's mane-covered head and walked out.

Ron only ate half of his lunch to Hermione's disappointment. "George and I talked today." He said.

"Oh? How is he?" She asked. She hadn't spoken much to George since the battle.

"Well, he's doing better. I think it's going to take him a while to really heal. I mean, he lost his identical twin." Ron's eyes welled with tears and he quickly turned his head from her.

Hermione got up and started to gather their plates and bowls and things to give Ron a moment to collect himself. She knew he was embarrassed to cry in front of others. "I couldn't imagine." She said tenderly.

"He offered me partner to the business. Now that Fred is gone he has to start thinking about those things, doesn't he?"

Hermione turned and leaned against the sink to face him. "What did you say?"

"I…I haven't told him anything yet." He replied. His arms were crossed in front of him on the table as he leaned against them staring out at nothing in particular. "It's hard to…I still…" He brought a hand up to his mouth and began chewing on his thumbnail trying to fight back his tears. "I just can't believe he's gone. I look at George and…" Then the tears started to fall down his cheeks. One dripped onto the back of his hand, rolling down his wrist until it disappeared into his sleeve.

Hermione stepped delicately towards him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Ron," she whispered, "I'm so sorry." Her own eyes welled with salty tears. Ron wrapped his arms around her waist and began to sob heavily into her shirt. His whimpering muffled against her stomach. She ran her fingers through his thick mop of orange hair. Her tears rolled fast down her face as she cried silently to herself. She wanted to stay strong for him. He needed her to be. She had seen him shed tears, but she had never seen him truly cry before now. She sat slowly down next to him and embraced him. Even though she was saddened in this moment, she was also pleased that Ron trusted her enough to fall apart in her arms. He laid his head on her shoulder and was starting to settle.

She looked up and saw Bill walk into the kitchen. He stopped, and taking in the scene, gave Hermione a look as if to ask if she needed anything. Finally, she wasn't the one stumbling in on a tender moment. She shook her head gently. Bill gave her a pained smile and left the room.

After a few minutes, Ron had calmed down but was still holding Hermione as if he never wanted to let her go. Then he said through a stuffy nose, "I'm happy you're here, Hermione."

"I'm glad to be here, Ron." And she was. Even during such a devastating time for the Weasleys, she was very happy to be there, with Ron.

* * *

><p>They finally made there way into the sitting room where Mrs. Tonks and Teddy had come over for a visit. This must have been the reason for Bill's appearance in the kitchen. Teddy was lying in Harry's arms as he admired his godson and mourned his friends. It was such a bitter sweet moment.<p>

Hermione and Ron sat down next to Harry. "May I?" Hermione asked.

"Of course." Harry carefully passed her the baby. He was alert and bright eyed, smiling up at her, cuing and gurgling.

"Aw, cute little thing." Ron said touching a finger lightly to Teddy's soft cheek. "His skin is so soft." He said curiously.

"Would you like to hold him, Ron?" Harry asked.

"Me?" Ron looked slightly panicked.

Hermione giggled. "He won't bite Ron. He hasn't got any teeth yet."

"Alright."

Hermione offered him to Ron and he cradled him easily in his arms.

Ron's face lit up with a warm smile. "Hello there little one. Your mother and father were very brave and wonderful people. I'm sorry you won't get a chance to know them."

Harry felt a small ache in his stomach at Ron's words but was relieved that Teddy would never have to endure the cruelty that he did from the Dursleys.

Teddy wrapped his little hand around Ron's finger. "I think he likes me."

Hermione was pleasantly surprised to see how comfortable Ron looked holding the baby. She would have imagined him to be rigid and awkward. She felt a sudden rush of love for him and if there hadn't been a room full of people, she would have kissed him.

"You know I have to go home, just for a little while anyway." She hesitated, expecting Ron to argue the decision. But he didn't, he kept playing with Teddy.

"I was wondering when you were going to say that." He said.

"What do you mean?" She said a little defensively.

"Well, I mean you can't stay here forever, what with your parents still in Australia and all."

"I thought maybe you would like to come with me." She said coolly.

"Come with you? But what about mum and dad and the family?"

"We have plenty of people around here to help out, Ron." Ginny said as she scooped Teddy out of his arms. "You should go."

Ron looked around at the few agreeable faces in the room, then back to Hermione. "Alright then. When are we off?"

"I was thinking tomorrow morning, after breakfast."

* * *

><p>That evening as Hermione was packing up her things in Ginny's room were she had been sleeping; Molly tapped on the door and came in.<p>

"I'm sorry to bother you, Hermione dear." She said.

"No, not at all."

"Ron told me you two are going off together for several days." She shut the door behind her.

"Yes, I need to collect a few things."

"Well, I know your mum isn't around at the moment, so I hope you don't mind me stepping in." She said, clutching her hands together nervously.

Hermione was rather confused as Mrs. Weasley pulled a small, purple bottle from the pocket of her apron. "Here you are. You can never be too careful."

She took the pretty bottle from her, looked at the label and then felt her cheeks grow hot from embarrassment. The bottle read, in sparkling silver letters: 'Cupid's Protection Potion; the #1 brand in birth control and disease prevention'.

She made to hand the bottle back without making eye contact with Mrs. Weasley, "I don't think…"

"Don't be silly." Molly ran over her words, "I remember what it was like to be young and in love. Arthur and I would-well, never mind." She stopped herself after noticing the horrid expression on Hermione's face.

"I have some snacks and things for you as well. I'll give them to you in the morning before you're off." She said casually as she started toward the door. "Goodnight dear." She gave her a warm smile and left.

Shortly after that, Ginny came in. "Packing up I see. How long do you plan to be gone?" She asked.

"No longer then a week I suppose."

Ginny noticed Hermione looked a bit flustered. "Everything okay?"

"Look what your mum just gave me!" She took the bottle out of her bag and showed it to Ginny, who immediately started to laugh.

"Really, Hermione, a sensible witch like you? I'd have expected you already had some."

"What!" Hermione was exasperated. "Well, I'm glad to know what everyone thinks about me!"

"A young woman in love with her boyfriend; that's what we all think." Ginny took the bottle and examined it. "It's just mum being a mum. Besides, we've all been through it. She thinks of you as family." She put the bottle back in Hermione's hand.

"You mean, your mum's done this to all of you?" She asked relieved.

"Yes, even Harry."

"Lovely. So, I'm the only virgin in this house? Is that what you mean?" Hermione said.

"Unless you count Teddy, then no." Ginny giggled again. She was enjoying herself way too much.

Hermione fell onto the bed and sighed in humiliation.

"I'm only teasing you." Ginny said as she sat down next to her. "There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, Hermione. You like to be sure of things."

"So it's true then, the things Lavender said about her and Ron?"

Ginny made a sour face. "Eh, don't remind me."

"I had so hoped it wasn't true." Hermione remembered over hearing Lavender talking with her girlfriends, bragging to them about how her and Ron 'made love' all the time. She had made it sound as though he couldn't get enough of her. It broke her heart to hear it.

"Ron wasn't in love with her, you know."

"Oh, well that makes it perfectly acceptable then." She responded sarcastically.

"Of course he cared about her." Ginny said, defending her brother. "Rest her soul, but she was always throwing herself at him and he's a bloke. What did you expect?"

They sat in silence for a few minutes, then Ginny finally asked, "Did mum tell you all about when her and dad where young lovers?"

"She started to, but I was spared."

"You're one of the lucky ones. I was traumatized for weeks afterward."

They both began rolling with laughter.

* * *

><p>The next morning at breakfast, Hermione could hardly make eye contact with anyone, especially Mrs. Weasley. She felt paranoid that everyone thought that she and Ron where 'active' in their new relationship. She glanced at Ron and her cheeks grew hot again. She quickly looked away.<p>

"What's the matter?" Ron asked, completely clueless as to what was going on in her mind.

"Nothing. I'm just a bit tired still." She smiled at him.

After breakfast they brought their bags down stairs and where making their rounds of goodbyes. Mrs. Weasley hugged them both and Hermione heard her whisper in Ron's ear, "Remember to be careful now." His ears didn't turn scarlet like they did when he was embarrassed, so Hermione thought maybe Ron didn't catch her meaning or maybe she was the one that took the meaning wrong. Why was she even worrying about it?

She looked over at Ginny, who was beaming from ear to ear, "See you two later." She said.

Then they apparated off.

POP! They appeared in the sitting room in Hermione's home. Except for the Dursley's, Ron had never been in a muggle home before. He was fascinated with the light switches and remote controls, the television and the computer. He found the muggle world to have a magical quality all its own. An interest he no doubt inherited from his father.

While Ron tinkered with all the musings of her house, Hermione went to her room to start packing more clothes and books and essentials. She picked up a framed picture of her with her parents that was sitting on her dresser. A burning lump formed in her throat and her eyes stung from the rising tears flooding her eyes.

Just then, Ron entered the room with his hands deep in the pockets of his loose fitting jeans. "So, this is Hermione Granger's bedroom." He said with a charming smile, glancing around the room. "You have no idea how often I've dreamed about being in your room."

His eyes finally finding her, he noticed Hermione wiping her eyes and set the frame down. "Is everything alright?" he asked, making his way toward her.

She nodded and smiled weakly as she began rummaging through a drawer. Ron picked up the picture she had been looking at. Hermione was only about five years old in the picture. She looked so innocent and small. Ron liked how muggle pictures didn't move, frozen in time forever. It was a harsh realization that the past is long but vanished.

"What if I can't restore their memory when I find them? What if they never remember me?" She asked in a staggering voice.

Ron put his hands gently on her shoulders. "Hermione, how many times have I said you are the most brilliant witch I know?" he said reassuringly. "And if you have trouble, there are plenty of healers at St. Mungo's that can help."

"But, what about what happened to Lockheart? He never regained his memories."

"Lockheart used my broken wand to cast that spell, didn't he?" Ron reminded her. "Not mention he was completely bonkers to begin with."

Hermione was starting to feel more confident. Maybe Ron was right. As she looked up at him, she noticed, really noticed how much he had changed over the years. When they had first meet on the train, he was this tall, lanky, awkward boy with dirt on his face. She had thought he was so immature and stubborn and hot tempered.

Seven years later, a young man now stood before her. His lanky limbs had filled out, his frame now strong and broad, his jaw square and lightly shadowed with stubble. It wasn't just his physical changes she noticed. His immaturity had taken the form of a wonderful sense of humor and boyish charm that always made her giggle. She now saw his stubbornness as an example of his undying loyalty and his hot temper as simply a result of how deeply passionate he was.

Ron's deep blue eyes locked on hers with a gaze so intense it made her blush. Feeling meek, her eyes darted away from his, but he slowly leaned in and pressed his lips against hers, not allowing her to escape the moment. He paused and pulled back, though she wasn't sure why. His eyes drifted to her mouth before kissing her again. He placed his hands gingerly on her waste, slowly tracing the curve of her hips and around to her lower back. Welcoming his affection, she brought her arms up around his shoulders, taking notice how firm and sturdy his build felt under her hands. Ron's advances became more eager as he tightened his arms around her, pulling her against him, briefly sneaking his tongue into her mouth. His breath tasted like spearmint; she hoped hers was just as fresh. He stopped kissing her suddenly and cupped her face with both his hands. Strands of her hair hung down over her eye; the dampness of the morning fog had caused it to frizz more then usual. He stroked her hair back out of her face and a sweet smile stretched across his face.

"Your mane, it's out of control." He said.

She blushed and tried desperately to flatten it with both her hands. "Oh, I meant to put an anti-frizz charm on it this morning but…"

Ron clutched her hands to stop her fidgeting. "No. I love it when your hair is all tousled and wild," he said looking devilish, slinking his arm around her waist and seizing her mouth passionately. Her heart began to race from his forceful seduction, as he groped his way down until his hand found the firm, round shape of her rear. Squeezing her plump flesh, his finger tips brushed against her 'girly parts', as she often referred to it. Her eyes flew open in surprise. Ron had never touched her this way before. He'd never kissed her this way before, either. In fact, no one had ever handled her this way. Cormac had tried, which resulted in Hermione giving him a stinging slap to the face. She combed her fingers through Ron's hair as he kissed her along her jaw. The feel of his soft, warm lips against her neck flooded her with an enticing sensation that started stirring in her core. She wanted to feel more of his hands on her body, wanted to feel him tighter against her. He found the hem of her shirt, sneaking his way slowly under it. His warm hand grazed the flesh of her mid-section causing goose bumps to form up her back and down her arms. Her heart pounded in such a frenzy against her chest, she was sure Ron could feel it. Her hands drifted around to his stomach and slid her hands up his shirt. He flinched slightly from the feel of her cold fingers. She made her way up to his chest, his skin felt smooth and taut over his muscular build, which was clearly developed from quidditch training. She was relieved to discover that she could feel his heart thumping heavily under her finger tips, which meant he was feeling just as charged as she was.

He pulled his hand out from her ruby red shirt she had paired with dark colored jeans and began to unbutton it. She looked down at his determined hands, noticing how steady they were. She wished she could channel his confidence because her hands were trembling terribly. His eyes were fixed on his task until he looked up to meet hers.

"I'm sorry, should I stop?" He asked sincerely, still clutching the cotton blend material in his finger tips.

What should she say? If she said yes, it might discourage him, which she didn't want to do. If she said no, then he might expect to go farther then she was willing. His eyes zoomed around her face as he lazily unbuttoned the next button. She still couldn't find her voice as he unbuttoned the next and the next. He delicately pushed open her shirt to reveal her baby blue laced bra. She shrugged away slightly feeling bashful, but he scooped her into his arms, denying her retreat, kissing her so deeply she couldn't help but give in to him. Her conscience kept telling her to put a stop to his actions, but her emotions refused to listen. His hand tenderly caressed her bare skin, making his way up to her ribs. She giggled, "That tickles, Ron."

He remained silent, but she could feel the corners of his mouth curl into a grin as he continued to kiss her. His thumb grazed the swell of her breast making her crave more of his touch. Then his large hand completely engulfed her small, firm breast. It was an unfamiliar yet pleasing sensation but she still felt timid. She had always felt insecure about her small breast, especially now because Lavender had been much more endowed then she was. She hoped Ron wasn't disappointed in her petite, slim frame. He squeezed her gently, stroking her erect nipple with his thumb, his tongue lightly grazing her neck and shoulder, breathing heavy on her skin. The exhilaration she felt from Ron's touch was nothing like she had ever experienced before. She couldn't think straight, which was something she wasn't used to. He began to move his feet, forcing her to step backwards until they reached her bed.

Ron released her and pulled off his faded green t-shirt. Hermione had seen a shirtless Ron, and Harry for that matter, many times but it never made her feel weak in knees until now. She sat on the edge of her bed. Ron, advancing again upon her, pressed himself against her until she was lying on her back. The feeling of his bare torso against hers felt strange but arousing. He kissed her with such fervor, it was as if he was a starving man and she was the first appetizing meal he'd had in months. His mouth plundered the flesh of her neck and chest, nibbling at the exposed portion of her breast. He sent her head spinning, her thoughts were clouded, leaving her confused in the bliss she was experiencing; she wished she knew what to do with her hands. Her heart felt as if it was going to burst out of her chest. The sound of Ron's heavy breathing in her ear and the smell of his skin, the feeling of his body, heavy on top of her; it was overwhelming her senses. They had known each other for seven years, but this was the first time they had ever been this close, this intimate. It felt as if they were moving awfully fast. Too fast.

He ground himself against her and suddenly she could feel just how much of a man he had grown to be. She feared if she didn't stop their lustful make out session she would be on her way to losing her virginity. Is that what she wanted?

Yes, she imagined it many times. When it would happen, what it would be like, but the thought of who it would be with was never a question. Ron was the only one she wanted to take this journey with. But right here, right now? What if her lack of experience caused the whole thing to be awkward and he didn't want to make love to her again afterwards? She started to feel more uncertain by the second.

Ron's nimble hands moved boldly to the waist band of her jeans and had it unbuttoned before she realized it. She made a noise against his lips that Ron must have mistaken as an agreeable moan because his advances became more zealous, tugging at her jeans causing the zipper to come undone.

"Ron." She heaved out.

"Hermione." Ron replied lustfully.

She placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed against him. "Ron, stop." She said.

He did, instantly. Looking down at her he asked, "I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong? I thought you were enjoying what I was doing?"

She smiled because it seemed she wasn't the only one feeling insecure. "I was. I just..." She paused trying to figure out how to explain herself, "I'm really nervous."

"Nervous?" Ron asked as he sat up.

"Yes."

"It's just me. There's nothing to be nervous about." He reassured her.

Hermione sat up, "I've never done this before, any of this." She explained, timidly pulling her shirt together.

Ron looked at her in disbelief. "Never? Any of it?"

"No."

"But you were with McLaggen for a time. Everyone knows what kind of a bloke he is."

"Ron, please! Do you really think I would let McLaggen of all people, do these things to me?" She said with disgust. "I slapped him good before he got the chance." She remembered how Cormac had laughed vainly from her strike. In that moment, Hermione had decided that using Cormac to make Ron jealous could lead her into a situation for which she was not prepared and it was just not worth it.

"And Krum? He's so much older, I thought at least…"

Hermione shook her head. "He was a complete gentleman. It was very peculiar actually." She giggled at the memory of him.

"I'm sorry, Hermione, I really thought that you had," he began regretfully, "and then to keep carrying on the way I did." He looked shameful.

Hermione placed her hand lovingly on his. "It's okay. How could you have known? I should have just told you."

Ron bent down to pick up his shirt and began to pull it right side out. "I want to, Ron. You were just moving so fast and everything felt so tempting and wonderful, I just couldn't think straight."

Ron pulled his shirt on and held a hand out to help her to her feet. "Hermione, I've been in love with you for seven years. It just took me about four to realize it." He grinned and started to button up her shirt. "The last thing I want is for you feel unsure about this. I promise to try to not be so eager next time."

Hermione did like how he had taken control of the moment. She had always been so knowledgeable about most things, but Ron was the experienced one this time. It thrilled her to think that he would soon be guiding her through such a truly meaningful experience. He kissed her gently and then said, "I'm hungry. Are you? I really want to go to one of those muggle restaurants. Do you know of one that has a good bacon sandwich or a stew?"

Hermione smiled, knowing that this was the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with. "Yes, I know just the place."


End file.
